Autistic Nesting as the Physical Architecture of Lilipadding
How We Curate Space And Create Felt Safety
Autistic nesting is a concept I have written about before; the way we curate physical and sensory spaces to sustain our flow and manage transitions in a world not built with our needs in mind. Nesting is not simply decorating, nor is it only about comfort. It is the active creation of an environment that speaks to the monotropic mind one that allows attention to move without tearing itself apart in forced transitions.
In recent months I have been exploring the philosophy of lilipadding. At first, Tanya Adkin thought of lilipadding as a strategy for easing task transitions and moving from one focus to another by stepping across associations, gently linking one demand to the next. The more we sat with it, the more we realised that lilipadding is not just about tasks. It is about life itself. Each breath is a micro-transition. Each thought is a step between lilipads. In that realisation, nesting became the physical architecture that makes lilipadding possible.
The Monotropic Landscape
To understand this, we need to think about monotropism. Autistic people are not torch beams illuminating multiple streams of attention like neuronormative culture assumes we should be. Instead, our minds flow deep and narrow, our light is a laser beam that focus intensely on the point it is aimed at. When we are forced to jump abruptly from one state of being to another, it feels like that laser beam is being forcibly redirected while still wanting to focus on the initial point. Burnout often arrives when we are asked to leap across waters that are turbulent and hostile.
Lilipadding is one way of softening those transitions. By moving step to step through associations, we make the leap less violent. Nesting provides the environment in which those lilipads can exist. Without nesting, lilipads drift apart. With nesting, the lilipads are become anchors of safety from which we can take our next steps.
Nesting as Architecture
Think of nesting as the physical design of the lilipad. A hostile environment might encourage us to leap too soon or too far in order to escape the space we are in. A well-nested space creates channels where one can rest and make careful planned steps to the next lilipad.
For example, in my own life, I create nests within my home; corners where sensory input is low and items I might need are available with minimal transition. My writing desk flows naturally into my bookshelves, which flow into a soft space where I can decompress. Each area links to the next with intentionality. The environment itself invites me to move gently between them, reducing the rupture of transitions. Too the outside of observer it might look like chaos, but to me it is familiarity and safety.
Nesting is, then, an architecture of continuity. It is about building spaces where one state of being can shift into the next without collapse. It transforms the external world into something that holds our monotropic flow, rather than tearing it apart.
Burnout as the Collapse of Architecture
When Autistic people experience burnout, one of the most painful aspects is the sense of disconnection. The lilipads become further distanced from us. What once flowed no longer does. The architecture of the nest has collapsed, sometimes physically, as we lose the capacity to maintain our spaces. Also relationally, as connections with others fall apart. It is also internal, as the sense of continuity with ourselves breaks down.
This is why recovery from burnout is not just about resting. Rest alone cannot rebuild the nest. What we need is the chance to re-establish our architecture of lilipads, to reconstruct the bridges and spaces that let us live between moments without constant rupture. Nesting is therefore not only a preventative act, but also a rehabilitating one.
Nesting in Wider Contexts
It is tempting to think of nesting as something that happens only in private homes. But if nesting is the architecture of lilipadding, then it should extend into schools, workplaces, hospitals, and any space that Autistic people are accessing.
Imagine a school designed with Autistic nesting in mind. Instead of barren corridors and sensory-hostile classrooms, there would be soft spaces of transition; sensory-friendly corners, gradual shifts between learning areas, visual anchors that help children step across attention states without rupture, an implied message that we belong here. The environment would not force abrupt leaps, it would offer a curated lilipad upon which we can nest.
Nesting as a Philosophy of Compassion
To understand nesting as architecture is to reframe compassion. Compassion is not simply an action performed by others, it is the environment we are invited to inhabit and the space we provide to ourselves. When institutions or communities deny us the chance to nest, they deny us continuity and felt safety. They leave us drowning in the water while we desperately scramble for the nearest lilipad upon which to survive.
By contrast, when we are allowed to nest, we can move with more ease between the fragments of life. By curating our space we have created a safe space from which to explore the possibility of new skills and comfort zones.
Conclusion: Building Our Own Architecture
Autistic nesting is the physical architecture of lilipadding. It is the design of environments that make life safer to navigate for monotropic minds. Without nesting we are stranded and desperate to leap. With nesting, the raging torrent becomes a gentle pond, we synchronise to the rhythm of transitions that carries us through.
To build our nests is to claim ownership over our own environments. It is to resist the hostility of systems that scatter our lilipads. And it is to recognise that our continuity is not an accident but an achievement, one that deserves to be nurtured and sustained.
Further Reading On Lilipadding: