Ten Years Free: A Decade Since Inpatient Care
Marking a milestone in my recovery with gratitude, reflection, and 40% off subscriptions
Ten years ago, I walked out of a psychiatric ward for the last time.
At the time, I couldn’t imagine a future where I’d be stable, thriving, or living life on my own terms. I certainly couldn’t have foreseen becoming an author, consultant, and advocate for change in the systems that once broke me.
Recovery, as I have written previously, is not a single act of healing, it’s an ongoing relationship with yourself, your community, and the world. It’s chaotic, beautiful, and rarely linear. But today, a full decade on, I can say I am still here, still growing, and still creating meaning from the chaos.
There is a bizarre separation within me. My memories of those days both feel like they belong to someone else, and yet, as if I am still in close proximity to them. As a Schizophrenic AuDHD'er I am all too aware that with the right environmental factors, I could find myself back within those walls.
I remember feeling imprisoned back then. It was strange to be in a place that called itself a hospital, but had high fencing and buttons that remotely locked all doors. It was a strange dystopia where they told you it was for your own good, and yet you knew you had no choice but to be there.
There is a twisted paternalism in the psychiatric system. A distinct feeling that they are saying “we know better than you what is good for you”.
I still find it difficult to live in a flat with clinically white walls (i’m not allowed to paint them per my tenancy agreement). White walls remind me vividly of my time on the ward.
I am free of that place now, but grateful every day for the progress i have made. In a decade of recovery (which has not been a direct path) i have acheived more than i ever dreamed possible. I am so pleased to be in the place I am today, working to help people like me.
I invite anyone who wishes to, to reflect on their own experiences of the past ten years, particularly if they are similar to mine. I hope to see you all in the comments.
To celebrate this deeply personal milestone, I’m offering 40% off paid subscriptions for a short time.
Your subscriptions make it possible for me to continue producing independent writing and research, exploring neurodiversity, Autistic identity, and the complex intersections of recovery and community. Paid members get access to exclusive essays, podcasts, and live discussions, but more importantly, you help sustain the work that keeps this platform alive and accessible to others who may still be navigating the darkness I once knew so well.
If you’ve ever connected with my writing, found hope in it, or used it to challenge your own thinking, this is a perfect moment to join me in marking ten years of survival, growth, and resistance.
Let’s celebrate what it means to endure, to adapt, and to keep choosing life even when the path is uncertain.Ten Years Free: A Decade Since Inpatient Care
You can also check out my Neyrodivergent Pride store by clicking the button below, or buy me a coffee.