The Frustration Of Being Neurodivergent & Self-Employed

A moan about capitalism

I’m no fool. I know i send a lot of emails about things i’m selling or charging for. There was a time when absolutely everything I did was free, but as the demand for my production increased it became unsustainable. So, I had to start charging money for a lot of things I do.

I recently became solely self-employed. This means that some months i’m comfortable, and other months less so. My particular flavour of neurodivergence means that too often traditional employment is not manageable for me, meaning that I am reliant on self-employment to allow me to survive.

The conundrum I find myself in is that now I am working within a system that I never wanted to be a part of. Trying to be productive enough to keep my finances flowing.

Write blogs, sell t-shirts, and host enough livestreams that i can meaningfully mentor other neurodivergent people, engage with the academic work that I love (but doesn’t pay), write books and still find time to make videos for free.

It feels like a lot of pressure a lot of the time. It also feels uncomfortable to me because my client and customer base is a group that themselves has similar struggles to me.

It feels like i’ve turned into the corporate capitalist monster that I wanted to bring down.

My only hope is that people see the sincerity of my words and my desperation to make the world a better place, even if I have to earn a living while doing so.

If you have read this far, I thank you for keeping with me not just during this rant, but also over the course of my work. I honestly do love the work I do; it’s being forced to exist under capitalism that sucks.

David

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