Agreed. For me, autistic burnout meant hitting an internal wall that stopped me from doing anything that wasn't essential for my daughter or cat. So, I continued dealing with her school, groceries, chores, etc. But that was it. I had to drop out of uni, couldn't focus on anything new or emotionally demanding (books, tv, movies, SpIns, people). The most complicated thing I could do for 6 months was basic crochet and rewatch the same 2-4 tv series over and again. Three and a half years later, I'm still very limited in what I can do before hitting a wall again, although I've been able to begin painting again, have been able to do more complicated crochet & knitting (at an advanced beginner level instead of intermediate-advanced level like I was before), am able to read new book in my pre-burnout series and new books/series in less emotionally complex genres.
I still cannot read anything non-fiction, there are many tv shows I have not been able to pick back up again, despite how much I loved them and want to get back to. Movies are essentially out of the rotation unless they're watched with my 4 year old niece.
Pre-burnout, I was in uni to become a teacher. That's gone.
All I can do is crochet/paint/knit/read/tv/YouTube (YT covers my ADHD need for variety), go to appointments, and do the basics of functional adult things - cook meals, wash clothing when needed, bathe when I can smell myself, look after the cat, and be there for my daughter. Every 2-3 weeks my niece comes over for 4-7 days, and when she goes home , I sleep a ton.
That's just the behavioural stuff.
My brain is mush, still. If I'm not repeating song lyrics or character quotes, I'm forgetting things mid-sentence or mid-action. I can't have a proper conversation because words, ideas, even names disappear without warning.
It's like only a quarter of my brain is working at any one time, and it's never the same quarter, and that quarter is spread out in bits and pieces.
I still get all the sensory input, and have a fraction of the capacity to deal with it than I did pre-burnout. And it's almost like I'm getting even more sensory input that before. There used to be a handful of things I could filter out or manage to a small extent, but not any more. Now I see, hear, feel, smell, taste, and sense everything. Focusing on anything is so much harder than it's ever been before.
And the impact burnout has had on my physical abilities is nuts! My balance and coordination are kaput. My typing skills have dropped from almost perfect accuracy to making so many spelling mistakes it's like I don't know how to spell anymore.
And now I've hit a wall just typing this out. 6 years ago, this would have taken me 5 or 6 minutes to type up. Tonight it's taken almost half an hour.
I wonder if anyone can relate to what I've described here.
Agreed. For me, autistic burnout meant hitting an internal wall that stopped me from doing anything that wasn't essential for my daughter or cat. So, I continued dealing with her school, groceries, chores, etc. But that was it. I had to drop out of uni, couldn't focus on anything new or emotionally demanding (books, tv, movies, SpIns, people). The most complicated thing I could do for 6 months was basic crochet and rewatch the same 2-4 tv series over and again. Three and a half years later, I'm still very limited in what I can do before hitting a wall again, although I've been able to begin painting again, have been able to do more complicated crochet & knitting (at an advanced beginner level instead of intermediate-advanced level like I was before), am able to read new book in my pre-burnout series and new books/series in less emotionally complex genres.
I still cannot read anything non-fiction, there are many tv shows I have not been able to pick back up again, despite how much I loved them and want to get back to. Movies are essentially out of the rotation unless they're watched with my 4 year old niece.
Pre-burnout, I was in uni to become a teacher. That's gone.
All I can do is crochet/paint/knit/read/tv/YouTube (YT covers my ADHD need for variety), go to appointments, and do the basics of functional adult things - cook meals, wash clothing when needed, bathe when I can smell myself, look after the cat, and be there for my daughter. Every 2-3 weeks my niece comes over for 4-7 days, and when she goes home , I sleep a ton.
That's just the behavioural stuff.
My brain is mush, still. If I'm not repeating song lyrics or character quotes, I'm forgetting things mid-sentence or mid-action. I can't have a proper conversation because words, ideas, even names disappear without warning.
It's like only a quarter of my brain is working at any one time, and it's never the same quarter, and that quarter is spread out in bits and pieces.
I still get all the sensory input, and have a fraction of the capacity to deal with it than I did pre-burnout. And it's almost like I'm getting even more sensory input that before. There used to be a handful of things I could filter out or manage to a small extent, but not any more. Now I see, hear, feel, smell, taste, and sense everything. Focusing on anything is so much harder than it's ever been before.
And the impact burnout has had on my physical abilities is nuts! My balance and coordination are kaput. My typing skills have dropped from almost perfect accuracy to making so many spelling mistakes it's like I don't know how to spell anymore.
And now I've hit a wall just typing this out. 6 years ago, this would have taken me 5 or 6 minutes to type up. Tonight it's taken almost half an hour.
I wonder if anyone can relate to what I've described here.
I relate to a lot of it.