I identify with your struggle. I'm AuDHD with anxiety. The world doesn't fully understand, or appropriately care. They just want people who are different to end up looking like themselves. I NEVER FELT SAFE. Love from my parents often felt creepy. "Help" from the scholastic and health systems often felt abusive. I was nearly 30 before I knew what safety felt like. My safety came from a rare friend. It's still hard.
Just because someone else says something about you, doesn't mean it's "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth". Your own experience always comes first, even if you don't fully understand it at the time.
I agree that we don’t have the appropriate way of framing or encapsulating cognition in the current paradigm of psychiatry. I think neurophilospy and neuroscience are the key to understanding the brain properly and being able to make psychiatry less harmful and dichotomous. I think you’re wise to consider neurodivergence as part or wholly why your brain does this to you. You should look into Patricia Churchland you might appreciate her writing. Stay strong and take every grain of joy that comes your way on the way to feeling more stable again. Warmest wishes x
Glad you were able to contact a crisis line and get support.
It can be so hard to feel safe in this world. Currently spending my time practising how to calm my nervous system so I can leave the house on my own again without huge anxiety cropping up.
Hey David, I very much agree with you on this one. In the last 3 years, complex PTSD has made it much more difficult to contain the boundaries of feeling safe. When I get that feeling that I don’t want to been here, it’s because I have an overwhelming feeling that no where is safe and the people who might normally help me co-regulate when I spiral are not available to be in that moment and I don’t have the bandwidth to be there for myself … because in those very intense moments, I am not my everyday self, I am reliving a younger part of myself and everything I learned since that time is not available to me. It is blank and inaccessible.
I can relate on so many levels. I can feel the storm coming sometimes too. It’s terrifying to know it’s coming! I agree with you, there is nothing wrong with our brains, they adapted to survive. They did a great job! But the skills that helped me survive hurt me now, and since they were formed under fire they don’t go down easy. But it would be nice to not feel bad for feeling bad. And to learn to feel safe in order to calm my system…no amount of telling myself I’m safe seems to work…
I identify with your struggle. I'm AuDHD with anxiety. The world doesn't fully understand, or appropriately care. They just want people who are different to end up looking like themselves. I NEVER FELT SAFE. Love from my parents often felt creepy. "Help" from the scholastic and health systems often felt abusive. I was nearly 30 before I knew what safety felt like. My safety came from a rare friend. It's still hard.
Sorry to hear you aren't okay. Value your insights though as to how this isn't mental illness.
For me, it is important to frame this experience through the neurodiversity paradigm. It empowers me. Thank you for your kindness
Just because someone else says something about you, doesn't mean it's "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth". Your own experience always comes first, even if you don't fully understand it at the time.
Thank you for sharing David and for been so open and I hope you’re on the road to recovery ❤️🩹 🙏
I'm doing what I can. I am hopeful that with time I will feel better.
I agree that we don’t have the appropriate way of framing or encapsulating cognition in the current paradigm of psychiatry. I think neurophilospy and neuroscience are the key to understanding the brain properly and being able to make psychiatry less harmful and dichotomous. I think you’re wise to consider neurodivergence as part or wholly why your brain does this to you. You should look into Patricia Churchland you might appreciate her writing. Stay strong and take every grain of joy that comes your way on the way to feeling more stable again. Warmest wishes x
"make psychiatry less harmful and dichotomous". I believe you are on the path to wisdom.
Wishing you deep and enduring felt safety. And love and caring support while that is out of reach. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Glad you were able to contact a crisis line and get support.
It can be so hard to feel safe in this world. Currently spending my time practising how to calm my nervous system so I can leave the house on my own again without huge anxiety cropping up.
Hey David, I very much agree with you on this one. In the last 3 years, complex PTSD has made it much more difficult to contain the boundaries of feeling safe. When I get that feeling that I don’t want to been here, it’s because I have an overwhelming feeling that no where is safe and the people who might normally help me co-regulate when I spiral are not available to be in that moment and I don’t have the bandwidth to be there for myself … because in those very intense moments, I am not my everyday self, I am reliving a younger part of myself and everything I learned since that time is not available to me. It is blank and inaccessible.
I can relate on so many levels. I can feel the storm coming sometimes too. It’s terrifying to know it’s coming! I agree with you, there is nothing wrong with our brains, they adapted to survive. They did a great job! But the skills that helped me survive hurt me now, and since they were formed under fire they don’t go down easy. But it would be nice to not feel bad for feeling bad. And to learn to feel safe in order to calm my system…no amount of telling myself I’m safe seems to work…
Been there. Yes, it's hell...